You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I skipped work to stalk him.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize