i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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