Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
