ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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