she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
