return my video game
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
