her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
