I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
