It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
