I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
