who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
