Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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