i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize