your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
