just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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