He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The uberlube is also flammable
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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