I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
