no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I bet he comes in French.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
