Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
