Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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