This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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