i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have already put on my inside pants.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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