you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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