I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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