Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we're making bets on your personal life
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
