I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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