Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Randomize
