You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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