The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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