Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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