Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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