'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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