Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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