I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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