Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
