Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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