Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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