Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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