its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
