was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
