I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
