Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
