i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
