i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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