she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
