oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
