Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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