Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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