i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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