There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
we're so committed to being not committed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize