The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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