Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
