why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
