I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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