i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize