Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
