put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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