his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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